It Takes Time To Grow
This hit me hard.
The Master Key – Part Fourteen
Remember that the law of growth necessarily governs every manifestation in the objective, so that a denial of unsatisfactory conditions will not bring about instant change. A plant will remain visible for some time after its roots have been cut, but it will gradually fade away and eventually disappear, so the withdrawal of your thought from the contemplation of unsatisfactory conditions will gradually, but surely, terminate these conditions.
You will see that this is an exactly opposite course from the one which we would naturally be inclined to adopt.
My biggest problems have been around the instant change. If I do not see a change happen I get frustrated and then end up quitting. In the last 18 some years I have seen this over and over again. It happens always when I’m in the position to “win”. Just at the last moment I do something (actually, I think it’s the opposite, I do nothing) and the “win” turns to a loss. I then start the process of wondering why “I can never win”, or “how the pressure of competition” puts a strain on my performance. So, I started to avoid it. Stay away from that pressure! Work at my own pace, in my own world. For some, this works, but for me……..
Yea, It doesn’t. I need the pressure I feel to push myself. The biggest problem was I did not cut the roots of the negative thoughts. I tried to plant a positive thought every time a new challenge came up. It was O.K. for awhile, then the old thoughts (like weeds) took over, and always at the moment of success (the win).
The same thing started to happen these last few weeks. I was the top producing agent in the agency in Oct. In Nov I was not, and Dec the same thing. I felt the old feelings come up again. I got scared that the same situation was going to happen all over again. But this time something was different. I thought about all the other times I felt this way. What was the reason? Why did it happen? How can I not feel like this and what would the outcome be if I took a step back not to feel this way. It all pointed to the same ending….failure. Well F%&* this, I can’t run anymore. I need to conquer this P.O.S. problem. I need to confront this head on and destroy it, stomp on the little pieces then wet then down after a few beers :). I say this with passion and a purpose!! God It feels really good to feel NORMAL again!!! All this after 14 weeks. I feel fantastic and glad that I decided to stick it out for the long haul. Thank MKMMA team, I put my faith in you all. Mark, you said the changes were going to happen around this time, you where right!!
Happy new year, everyone.
-Keep Moving Forward